Life is...

Well I have no excuses for not posting right now. First day of summer tutoring=no one to tutor. It has taken me about 57 minutes to derive that equation, but I have a feeling it is pretty solid.

Believe it or not though I have actually had sometime on my hands again. I am finding that sitting around and doing nothing really bothers me, but it is hard to decide what to do when there are no absolutely pressing deadlines. It has actually been rather interesting. I have started re-reading "The Grapes of Wrath," drawn a couple of pictures, made an audio CD for Christin which you can read about on her blog (it was pretty ridiculous), and found that I am very tired frequently (still haven't done the medical thing yet, but I'm working on it. It's been said that you procrastinate the things you're afraid of. I don't like dealing with Dr.s and Dentists).

I am working on all of those things as of late, and I am also working on being more spiritual. Basically I am trying to get in touch with all of those things I have been neglecting over the past year in my effort to survive/ live up to my personal expectations. I can't really say I am glad school's over or that I am feeling different about life. To me life is a gentle blend of colors. The events of life seem sharp in contrast when they are viewed individually like colors on the painters pallet. But when they are actually applied they all blend together and become one big image. Depending on the colors you use it will be a mess or a masterpiece. So far I am pleased with my blend.

Recent Exploits:

We were moving stuff from storage and I found a bunch of stamps. The family dog became my object of amusement.

Yep I could have shipped her off to Pakistan!

If only she qualified as bulk mail...

Some of my old CD cases that were still in storage. I used to decorate my room with them. Now they decorate the dump.

Gran' Master T layin' down a sweet line for Christin's CD.

Us making ocean nosies until we were light headed and woozy.

Being Weezer... / Us.

Here we go again.

K, let me throw down a little blog here.  B-Ridge has been reminding me that I am the ultimate slacker when it comes to blogging.  It is true.  I can accept that.  Period.

Right now I am listening to a Radiohead Jay-Z collaboration and I have to say it is absolutely amazing.  It reminds me of how things that are so opposite and would seem to clash, can complement, complete and come together perfectly.  

Pulls it all together like a pair of rainbow laces on a pair of Nikes.  When I was five I had just learned to tie my shoes and nothing was cooler than those bright gaudy laces which drew everyone's eyes to my new accomplishment. 

I know I spend too much time trying to make things work out just right, but I guess I am chilling out in those regards.  Things continue to shift around me, and I feel like I am standing still most of the time.  But every now and then I get to see how much I am shifting too.

The Fully Sick Blog Post

I was recently asked what do I do for fun. My common response is that I just don’t have any, but that is mainly because I am a perpetual liar (for humor’s sake of course, I couldn’t really lie and live with myself.)  Yes I am at school or work all the time, but that doesn’t mean I’ll let it be boring.  I am physically unable to stop myself from putting a little touch of “Phil” in everything I do.  When I was on my mission I made “The Fully Sick Form Letter” to give people and update on my life.  Consider this the “Fully Sick Blog Post”  to update you on my immaturities.  

Last semester I had a Chemistry teacher named Sergei (Sir-gay is how it is pronounced).  If you haven’t seen “The Man Who Knew Too Little” please watch it.  It probably won’t help you see why I love the name Sergei so much, but you'll laugh none the less.  Any ways, this dude was like the jolly Ukrainian giant of chemistry.  One day my friend Ryan asked me what my first thought is when I think of Sergei.  I pondered for a moment… and responded, “Rainbows and Unicorns.”  Sounds gay, but when that dude lectured I felt like I was going to "My Little Pony's" Palace or something.  He just made chemistry seem magical... in a Ukrainian way.  Ryan agreed, and that resulted in us ripping his photo off the school website.  The following was created.

This image had quite the public appearance.  

Up next, Obama!!!  Ok, I am not attempting to make a political statement (I am not as interested in politics as I am in human nature), but I will admit that I had a ton of fun making fun of Obama during the election. This is total political humor so you'll have to forgive me.  (you'll have to read everything inside the image to fully appreciate it)

There was the random ENG 102 final, which you have probably seen (p.s. please don't player hate on these images. they were all done in paint.  I am too cheap for photoshop.):

And finally, the "Patience Award!"  Pavithra is a tutor in the engineer tutoring center who has helped me through numerous math problems.  We have this running joke with her because one time I tried to solve a mathematical problem using "faulty methods," and then attempted to argue with her about the method.  It ended with her rapidly clicking her tongue at me (like a machine gun), getting really frustrated and then proving me wrong.  Humbling and hilarious all at once.  

Well the other day she was helping this one kid, and I'll admit, he sounded like a real pain.  Like a thorn with vocal chords.  She was getting really ticked off with him.  I started taking candid photos with my camera phone, one thing led to another...

I don't know if she fully got it when Ryan and I gave it to her, but we had a ton of fun in the process.  I guess that is how life is.  Peace.

Yes, No, Maybe So

Have you ever had a hard time making a decision? I have. In fact it is a frequent occurrence. I struggle every single night deciding what to make for dinner. I struggle when I am ordering a sandwich, burger or even a pizza (except at Little Ceaser’s… Oh “hot and readys,” you treat me so well). Yep food is one thing that I can’t seem to handle. If I am going to spend money on something I want it to be good. If I am going to make something I want it to be good. But most of the time I am in a panic attack about deciding. There are several factors which have to be addressed when ordering a meal.

1) Will it fill me up? The importance of this is obviously a concern. If I am hungry after a meal I will consider my personal efforts a waist. Especially since my “bling bling” is nowhere to be “seen seen.” One day I’ll have more money. One day I’ll eat stake.

2) Is the process of ingesting it an efficient use of my time? Ok, so you’re probably thinking, “Really Phil? Do you have to be such an engineer?” See caught you in the act. Sucker. This really isn’t as bad as it sounds. No one wants to wait an hour for a five dollar sub at subway. Well… if you do… then …. (Phil filter employed). I am finding that time is the most precious thing we have in this life. No one gets more hours in a day than anyone else, and people who spend their time well spend everything else well too. There is a catch though. I call it Catch 22.5. If you’re like me, and spend too much time worrying about time, then you’re wasting time.

3) How much cholesterol am I pumping into my blood stream right now? I try to pick and choose the times I break down and eat that 74 cent microwave pizza. College is a life altering experience, hopefully not a life ending experience.

4) How scrumtrilescent is this going to be? I would just like to take a moment and publicly thank Will Ferrell for inventing that word. I can’t eat Ramen noodles; reason being, they taste like sweat.

I think that takes care of my food thought process. This is why I consider eating a burden. Plus it is just not that high up on my priorities list. I recognize that that train of thought could be fatal, so I am trying to correct it. But still, if it weren’t necessary, I wouldn’t do it.

Velcro

So you may or may not know that I have been sporting Velcro shoes for the past two months. Explaination? Allow me.

Once upon a time in a far off magical land known as “Zone De Auto” a decree was issued by Lord Patrick of the District Management. “Hear Ye Hear Ye, Escucha ,Escucha (yeah we’re bilingual like that)! Come the dawn of the New Year all slaves of the kingdom must wear polishable shoes. Violators will be punished.”

This is where I come in. I am a very important employee at Auto Zone. I’m so good that I am employee of the month, every month, without disputation. They have limited me to working 4 days a month because of my intense skills. (You may be thinking W.T.Explative, but it is mainly because each of my hours counts as five regular ones. They just don’t have enough hours to staff me.)

When I walked in one morning I noticed this declaration. I’ll translate it for those of you who don’t speak old English. “All Autozoners will be required to wear polishable shoes by January 1st.” After finding a pen and writing “GAY” on the sign I went about my usual work. My first inclination after rage was to buy shoes at "Savers". I mean I only needed to wear them once week; no big deal. However, my mother chewed me out for even thinking about it. Something about foot patterns in the shoes and back problems... mom stuff. So after Christmas I went out shopping with her. Oh Wal-Mart, the symbol of thrifty living and shirts that say, “The Voices in My Head Don’t Like You.” As I strutted my stuff down the shoe section it dawned on me that I still hadn’t bought my work shoes. Ka-Ching!! I started to check out all five of the shoes in the men’s section when my eyes beheld… a pair of Dr.Scholl’s, old man, shuffle board, black, polishable shoes…in Velcro. Wow. In case you weren’t counting that was five adjective phrases. Words cannot express what went on in my mind at that instance. Let’s just say that I heard the sound of trumpets and couple of hallelujahs. I knew it was meant to be. When I walked over to the other side of the men’s isle I found that they had a similar pair for all of my active needs: Velcro tennis shoes. Those came as a birthday present less than ten days later after a strong hint to my mother.

Several people have asked me what is up with my sudden Velcro obsession. I don’t know. Maybe it is the sweet sound of the hook side breaking the strands on the soft fuzzy side. Perhaps it is the speed of which I am able to get in and out of my shoes without doing damage to the backs of them. Or maybe it is just a natural regression. The fashionable thing now is retro style stuff in bold colors. Maybe I am just subconsciously following that trend by wearing shoes that I wore in preschool. Last time I remember lime green, bright pink and this much purple was that awkward late 80's early 90's era. Batman, Superman and Transformer shirts are now quite popular and I wore those in my 0-5 years. Maybe Velcro is next.

Lesson's from Nobel Library #1

Hmmmm… I am writing this to escape from the pressures of school.

That is actually pretty dumb to say; most things in life don’t give pressure. A car on top of my leg would probably give me some substantial pressure. I imagine a piano on the head would cause some substantial damage to me too. But things like school work, final exams, being late, meeting new people, public speaking, trying something new (etc.) don’t apply any pressure. All the pressure comes from personal expectations and fears of not being able to meet them. (I think a nifty name for those pressures could be stress. Maybe I’ll patent that.) Even having someone else yell at you doesn’t really apply pressure; it is their attempt to apply pressure but it has to be accepted. The majority of life’s stresses seem to be self inflicted by perspective and expectation.

I don’t think that is necessarily bad though. We choose who we become by the challenges we accept and decline; the pressure we put on ourselves to overcome the challenge has a large amount to do with how we succeed. That is why “Dave the Organic Hippie” at McDonalds won’t ever go anywhere. He doesn’t care about anything as long as weed grows and Nintendo comes out with new games. However, I am slowly becoming aware that it is also important to turn the pressure down as well. It dawned on me the other day after a 17 hour study day (yeah I know). I read the instruction manual that came with me the other day and I guess my brain is in danger of rupturing past 150 "psi" ("pressure" per square inch…I am such nerd). So that is one of my goals for this semester: to chillax; even though I have a course load that could kill a water buffalo if consumed in its liquid form. Paper cuts and pressure could kill me this semester so I am trying to avoid them both.

Blogging...

B.L.O.G... I want to know who thought of that! I am realativly new to this blogging world, and I am curious. When I say "Blog" a cross between the word booger and log comes to mind. I doubt that was the original intention, but I am still pretty blown away by it's randomness. I wonder if it is an acronym for something. Our technologically hip generation seems to like those. Wikipedia tells me it is a combination of the words "Web" and "Log." CD, VCR, ATM... BLOG.
Hmmmm, Biological Lending Of Gossip... Best Left On Graze... Beat Leaves Over Gretta.
Yeah I like the acronym better. I live off of wikipedia and normally its word is law...but in this instance I am just going to ignore it. In my book BLOG is an acronym. I don't know what it stands for yet, but I'll figure it out. Let me know if you think of some good ones because I would love to know.